I feel better and it’s because of you!

Lord, I want to thank you. The last post I put up before this one, was very “emotional crisis”. You already know that though. Anyway, I just want to thank you, because I feel so much better. Last night and this morning, I have been thinking of how blessed I am to be where I am right now in my life. You are teaching me SO much and have placed me around mentors that pour into my life and are being used by you to prepare me for whatever ministry and kingdom work you have for me. I’ve learned that even though, it’s not an easy time in my life, that I really need to enjoy this time. Right now, I can get up freely, go where I want to go and come back when I want to come back. I can spend as much time with you as I want! I thank you for allowing me to work in your Kingdom like never before in this season. For I know that nothing that I am doing is in vain and that where I am is no coincidence. I don’t have to, nor will I pity my life or the seasons that you bless me to walk in. I am fearfully and wonderfully made and you love me! Thank you for your love Lord! Just because I am waiting in you for some things that I so desire, does not mean I have to feel or appear miserable. The devil is a big fat liar! I am victorious in Christ Jesus. I am standing on your promises and serving you. I know that you will bless me in your time, I love you Lord! Thank you :-)

Love,

Naya

Honestly- I have to be real

I am at the point of total frustration at this point in my life. I thought for sure by now, my husband would be in my life. I have prayed, fasted, prayed, fasted, and prayed some more. Have trusted, have believed, have stood firm. Have celebrated with and for others, while so many others have prayed for me as well. I can't believe he is not here yet. It seems like no matter what I do, I don't SEE the answer to my prayer regarding a husband. I'm so frustrated and my heart is somewhat broken from dissapointment. Maybe I set up wrong expectations. I'm just really suprised that it takes all of this for the prayer to be answered. My friends and I have done warfare prayers, prayed weekly for him and then I. Lord, what is it? Why have I not yet seen the manifestation of the desire of my heart for a husband. I keep trying to build myself up through prayer and the word and it gets harder and harder!! What does a girl have to do??? I'm really hurting and I'm crying out to you, but can't even hear anything back. I could go on and on about this, but I need to see you in this Father, because I have to be honest. I feel like I am being punished. How many more events do I have to go to alone? How many times am I gonna have to cry from frustration in not seeing the answer, how many more lonely nights must I go through? How many dissapointments from wanting to get a phone call after work, with him on the other end telling me that he just is calling to see how I am doing, how my day is. I mean, can a sister get a hook up. I desire the friendship, the companionship and the love. You know the love as Christ loves the church..... I wanna be somebodies helpmeet, I want to love, support and respect a man of God. I want to raise children with him. I want to go to family reunions and celebrations with him. I want to read the word with him and pray with him. I want to see his face and hear his voice and know who he is; no games. So what is going on??? You know my heart Lord and my desire for a husband is real. So when does the answer come so that I can see it? I'm in my purpose and serving which is a blessing, but I still feel that something is missing. Now, even in all my frustration I know that can't no man love me like Jesus. You have been there through the good, bad and real ugly! But Lord, you gave me the desire. The closer I grow to you, the stronger the desire gets. The nights are gettign a WHOLE lot longer for me Lord and so many of my friends are marrying off as well. Where is he??????????????????????